Embracing change means experiencing the current experience.
On a physical level and on an emotional or feeling level. It means making old emotions that are frozen in the body again.
Emotions have arisen because we have experienced something we disliked, something we didn’t want to experience and have repressed these feelings at that time. A pain that we perhaps did not want to feel. Today, however, we “suffer” from the old emotions because they make it difficult or impossible for us to live in the here and now and to be fully present or awake.
This is because we have the absolute claim and the conviction that things must not/should not be the way they are. Now in the face of change – be it a breakup, illness, etc – we are often confronted with issues (and emotions – i.e. frozen feelings) from the past. It is not the fact of the circumstances that often makes it difficult for us, but the inability or not knowing how to deal with these unpleasant sensations, pains, tensions, memories, thoughts.
And where do we usually feel this? On a physical level. And what do we do then? Reject, resign, numb (through pills, etc.), fight, resist.
So it’s not the circumstances that make it hard for us, but the resistance to it
So what do we often associate with change? Fear. Pain. Sadness, anger?
What change do we know? E.g. separation, loss, aging, illness.
Change in itself is never painful, it is the fight, the flight, the fear of it.
What is needed, however, is a calm and safe place where the nervous system can regulate itself. A place of safety and well-being. An inner place where we can let grace work and where we can just let ourselves be.
We cannot be in change within ourselves if we are not in our bodies, with our emotions, thoughts and breath.
Sometimes changes – whether self-induced or coming from the outside – are exactly for that: to recognize THAT and to grow in our SELF – beyond our history and beyond the attachments of our emotions.
A sparkler for your wound
I read and hear so often, "You have to love yourself!" I wonder how this phrase resonates with you when you let it...